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However, I still feel that the marvellous sense of loss and loneliness in this particular song makes it worth singing.

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Keith commented:. I've been singing this song for donkey's years in a minor key, as it appears in the book and incidentally so has Lynne. A few years ago, not having sung it for some time, I decided to try it in a major key—for me, transforming the song and bringing it to life. Anyway, here's the result. She commented:. This was one of the first Appalachian songs I learned and sang over fifty years ago.


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I still feel it is one of the most beautiful songs I know, and I'd guarded it jealously over the years. I suggested it to Kieron for this album, because I knew he could be entrusted to do it justice. They commented:. Many songs of women wronged in love seem to be full of self-pity, but the woman in this song seems to possess an inner strength despite her heartbreak. He commented in his liner notes:. This is a traditional Appalachian ballad that seems to be closely derived from an English ballad of a similar theme and feel, as so many are.

False love: over-protection

It crops up in lots of different guises in many different publications, in particular Cecil Sharp's Folk Songs of English Origin collected in the Appalachian Mountains. I tried to somehow work into the performance the huge range of emotions inherent in the text.

To me, it's a short but moving ballad. They noted:. The notes on that record say that it was collected in this shortened lyrical form by Cecil Sharp from Mr Jeff Stockton of Flag Pond, Tennessee, in Come in, come in, you old true love, And chat for a while with me, For it's been three-quarters of a long year or more Since I spoke one word to thee. I shan't come in, I shan't sit down, I ain't got a moment's time, And since you are engaged with another true love Then your heart is no longer mine.

When you were mine, my old true love, And your head lay on my breast, You could make me believe by the falling of your arm That the sun rose up in the west. There is many the star shall jingle in the west, There is many the leaf below, There is many the damn that shall light upon a man For treating a poor girl so. I wish to the Lord I'd never been born Or had died when I was young, Then I never would have mourned for my old true love, Nor have courted no other one. Come in, come in, you old true love, Won't you chat for a while with me, For it's been three-quarters of a long year or more Since I spoke one word to thee.

No, I shan't come in, no, I won't sit down, For I don't have a moment's time, And since you are now engaged with another true love Then your heart is no longer mine. But when you were mine, my own true love, And your head lay upon my breast, You could make me believe all by the falling of your arm That the sun rose up in the west.

Now there's many's the star shall jingle in the west, And it's many the leaves all below, And there's many's the damn that shall light upon a man For treating a poor girl so. Now I wish to the Lord I'd never been born Or had died when I was young, Then I never would have mourned for my own true love, Nor have courted no other one. As I walked out one May morning To hear the birds sing sweet, I sat my back to a garden wall And watched two lovers meet.

You courted me, was what she said, You got me to comply, You courted me with a merry mood All night with you to lie. They believe sharing love is about quantity, not quality. Lots of romance, lots of sex, lots of gifts, lots of flattering words.

PASSION VS. REAL LOVE

A certainty about love in quiet, unspoken moments is foreign to them. If there is no emotional high being experienced, they are afraid love is fading. This person is completely fine with their lousy behavior while presuming the beloved will understand and accept them. Their love for the beloved presumes the unconditional love they will receive, regardless of their actions. Their own passions and needs are the priority.

Distinguishing False Love from True Love

They are at peace with their bad habits and feel no need to work on their faults. They hide things like their impurity, injustice, anger, foul manners and speech, rudeness, detraction and gossip, while making themselves out to be worthy to be loved by the beloved. They presume forgiveness and second chances.

The Inconstant Approach. This person is wishy washy when it comes to love. Sometimes they seem really into you and will do anything for you. They are willing to invest initially in winning your heart, only to back off after they have won it. They easily change, whether in mind or mood or with the latest difficulty in the relationship. They willingly make promises and take on more than they can handle in showing their love, and leave you disappointed when it was just empty words and promises. Their love is unreliable. This person has high expectations and strict requirements when it comes to the love received from another, while they do not submit themselves to the same standard.

They love with a double standard that sets the beloved up as always being the guilty party for all problems, while they are always justified in what they do.

They display a consistent intent of deception in their love by passing as a good person committed to loving another while not really caring to live it out. They are trying to be someone they are not. Their efforts and actions in love are things they think the other wants in order to win their affection and approval, not things that spring naturally from the heart as part of who they are.

This person sees love for another as a utility for their purposes, not as a giving of self and respect of a person. They have recourse to you only when they need something, otherwise they have no interest. They love you whenever they can obtain something from you when they want it.

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Seven types of false love - By Anthony Buono

They lose patience and show signs of wanting out at even the slightest degree of not getting what they want out of typical relationship experiences such as discussions, problems, or decisions that have to be made. Their tolerance of you is proportional to the satisfaction of their wants. All of us can find ourselves in one or more of these. This is because none of us can escape selfishness the very definition of pride. The more selfish we are, the more prone we are to false love, and the more difficult it is to live out true love.

What is your approach to love? In which of these false approaches do you see yourself?